Thursday, April 19, 2007

Save the Broccoli! Save Us!

What does it take for a nation of hypnotized sheep to wake up to the truth? Even when our college campuses start looking like the set of Blood Simple, we are only too happy to hit the snooze button.

It’s not that people are short of ideas. To purchase pellets for your air rifle, you must place in the 95th percentile of GMAT. Anyone who has ever thrown a dish or kicked a stalled car in rage goes into 20 years solitary with immediate effect. Mandatory kung fu lessons in Calculus 101. Fuck the patriarchy – castrate all the bastards in kindergarten. Cover penis enlargement drugs in Medicaid. The list of deluded, recycled, asinine ideas just goes on and on.

The simple truth is that the spiraling violence and disintegration of society has everything to do with the suppression of the broccoli that has been going on for years now. The ranching-industrial complex and its lobbyists in Washington have deprived us of vital bodily vitamins, which has given rise to alienation, rage and stupor. You won’t hear it on CNN or Fox News, those stooges of the Texas cattle lobby and the Kentucky chicken killers, but knowledgeable people will tell you that the spread of our spiritual and bodily cancers has everything to do with broccoli deprivation.

Guns don’t kill people. Cafetaria menus do.

How deep do the roots of this conspiracy go? You be the judge.

93 comments:

Justoffal said...

What ever happened to good old fashioned moral teaching?? Respect for life? Decent values??

Somebody has a sugar dump in th middle of the day and they go off and shoot up the workplace or the University?

Keifus said...

Clearly, kids today need a little more religious instruction.

Schadenfreude said...

So...re: your Dr. Evil question.

1. Do I have my mojo or not have my mojo? If I have my mojo, then [karate chop] - if not, then;

2. Do I have my Walther PPK, or do I not have my PPK? If I have my PPK, then woe to the henchmen - if not, then;

3. I wait for Dr. Evil to leave me and my 99 lovers alone to die, then devise a cunning escape plan, while dropping a few witticisms [cocked eyebrow] "Shocking end", that type of thing.

Gregor Samsa said...

JO: Well, yeah.

Keifus: Like your logo.

Schad: I am going back to Geoff. At least he didn’t sweet talk and give me a necklace one day and take it back the next (think Fish Called Wanda). With him it was always like “Shut up and do your chores, womyn! I’ll get the movie tickets if I want.”

Schadenfreude said...

That is so tragic. Slate, backed by the largest software company on earth, is a serial technical failurist, but gets your undying loyalty, while I have only one (and I got it over with on my first day), and lose you forever?

There is no god.

Gregor Samsa said...

Well, okay. I have always said size matters, but the software probablems are indeed a turn-off. Let's just say just cuz I'm still married doesn't mean I can't play.

twiffer said...

somehow, i feel my preference for asparagus is partly to blame.

Archaeopteryx said...

“I do not like broccoli. And I haven't liked it since I was a little kid and my mother made me eat it. And I'm President of the United States and I'm not going to eat any more broccoli.”--George Herbert Walker Bush.

Coincidence? I think not.

topazz said...

As a former professional cafeteria lunch lady, I take umbrage at your suggestion that school cafeteria lunch programs may be to blame for kids who go off the deep end in school. Although at the same time I have to say, you may have a point. I ran the cafeteria at my kids' school for 4 years, and did the sensible thing; i.e. contracted outside caterers to cook & serve lunch every day.

Unfortunately, you can't find those kindly old fashioned moms and grandmoms of yesteryear who used to volunteer one morning a week to cook nutritious school lunches for the little darlins.

Nooooo, and why, you ask? Why, they're too busy with their careers, or meeting men in chatrooms. And that's just the grandmothers.

Bite oftheweek said...

If you are going to have your own blog, the least you could do is post on it at least a couple of times a week.

Your readers insist on it.

Schadenfreude said...

Two months without a post...and counting...

Maybe this blogging thing isn't for you?

Gregor Samsa said...

Not to make excuses, but for the better part of last month, I was abducted by aliens. Fcuking morons don't even have internet connection.

Anonymous said...

does viagra really work women does viagra work viagra cheap cialis super viagra viagra shelf life what does viagra do generic name of viagra viagra online no prescription cost of viagra order viagra online which is better cialis or viagra buy viagra in london england cheapest viagra in uk viagra larger forever

Anonymous said...

Your blog keeps getting better and better! Your older articles are not as good as newer ones you have a lot more creativity and originality now keep it up!

Anonymous said...

You have to express more your opinion to attract more readers, because just a video or plain text without any personal approach is not that valuable. But it is just form my point of view

Anonymous said...

You have really great taste on catch article titles, even when you are not interested in this topic you push to read it

Anonymous said...

Gals
You have got to see this. Obama playing on XBox. Funniest video ever. http://bit.ly/bllhx1

Anonymous said...

Predilection casinos? into this unused [url=http://www.realcazinoz.com]casino[/url] advisor and wing it criticize online casino games like slots, blackjack, roulette, baccarat and more at www.realcazinoz.com .
you can also into our warn [url=http://freecasinogames2010.webs.com]casino[/url] advert at http://freecasinogames2010.webs.com and understand licit tangled moneyed !
another lone [url=http://www.ttittancasino.com]casino spiele[/url] faction is www.ttittancasino.com , in compensation german gamblers, get mark of magnanimous online casino bonus.

オテモヤン said...

オナニー
逆援助
SEX
フェラチオ
ソープ
逆援助
出張ホスト
手コキ
おっぱい
フェラチオ
中出し
セックス
デリヘル
包茎
逆援
性欲

Anonymous said...

Do You interesting how to [b]Buy Viagra in Canada[/b]? You can find below...
[size=10]>>>[url=http://listita.info/go.php?sid=1][b]Buy Viagra in Canada[/b][/url]<<<[/size]

[URL=http://imgwebsearch.com/30269/link/buy%20viagra/1_valentine3.html][IMG]http://imgwebsearch.com/30269/img0/buy%20viagra/1_valentine3.png[/IMG][/URL]
[URL=http://imgwebsearch.com/30269/link/buy%20viagra/3_headsex1.html][IMG]http://imgwebsearch.com/30269/img0/buy%20viagra/3_headsex1.png[/IMG][/URL]
[b]Bonus Policy[/b]
Order 3 or more products and get free Regular Airmail shipping!
Free Regular Airmail shipping for orders starting with $200.00!

Free insurance (guaranteed reshipment if delivery failed) for orders starting with $300.00!
[b]Description[/b]

Generic Viagra (sildenafil citrate; brand names include: Aphrodil / Edegra / Erasmo / Penegra / Revatio / Supra / Zwagra) is an effective treatment for erectile dysfunction regardless of the cause or duration of the problem or the age of the patient.
Sildenafil Citrate is the active ingredient used to treat erectile dysfunction (impotence) in men. It can help men who have erectile dysfunction get and sustain an erection when they are sexually excited.
Generic Viagra is manufactured in accordance with World Health Organization standards and guidelines (WHO-GMP). Also you can find on our sites.
Generic Viagra is made with thorough reverse engineering for the sildenafil citrate molecule - a totally different process of making sildenafil and its reaction. That is why it takes effect in 15 minutes compared to other drugs which take 30-40 minutes to take effect.
[b][/b]
Even in the most sexually liberated and self-satisfied of nations, many people still yearn to burn more, to feel ready for bedding no matter what the clock says and to desire their partner of 23 years as much as they did when their love was brand new.
The market is saturated with books on how to revive a flagging libido or spice up monotonous sex, and sex therapists say “lack of desire” is one of the most common complaints they hear from patients, particularly women.

Anonymous said...

viagra online viagra online order no prescription - cheap herbal viagra online

Anonymous said...

generic viagra viagra 300mg - www cheap viagra com

Anonymous said...

viagra online without prescription how to purchase viagra in sydney - viagra online us next day delivery

Anonymous said...

viagra online without prescription cheap viagra online pharmacy - buy viagra safely us

Anonymous said...

viagra no prescription viagra blood pressure - usual dosage viagra

Anonymous said...

buy soma online buy soma us pharmacy - buy soma rush

Anonymous said...

buy soma buy soma usa - soma drug identification

Anonymous said...

discount soma soma 800 mg - soma san diego myspace

Anonymous said...

buy soma online buy watson soma online - buy generic soma

Anonymous said...

buy soma online soma half ironman - online pharmacy soma no prescription

Anonymous said...

buy soma online soma bras 79984 - soma drug recall

Anonymous said...

generic soma how to buy somatropin in usa - buysoma.org

Anonymous said...

buy generic soma buy soma online fedex - drug test soma carisoprodol

Anonymous said...

buy soma soma tabs medication - soma costs

Anonymous said...

buy soma soma san diego lunatiks - erin soma san diego

Anonymous said...

buy cialis online buy cialis 20 mg online - cialis online no prescription overnight

Anonymous said...

buy soma generic soma medication - buy soma online cod fedex

Anonymous said...

buy cheap cialis cialis online no prescription us - cheap generic cialis us

Anonymous said...

buy cialis online cialis daily for men - cialis tadalafil

Anonymous said...

Hi, zyban online - order zyban http://www.wellbutrinonlinesale.net/#order-zyban , [url=http://www.wellbutrinonlinesale.net/#zyban-drug ]zyban drug [/url]

Anonymous said...

Hi, buy zyban - cheap zyban http://www.wellbutrinonlinesale.net/#cheap-zyban , [url=http://www.wellbutrinonlinesale.net/#generic-zyban ]generic zyban [/url]

Anonymous said...

Hi, zyban drug - buy zyban online http://www.wellbutrinonlinesale.net/#buy-zyban-online , [url=http://www.wellbutrinonlinesale.net/#zyban-cost ]zyban cost [/url]

Anonymous said...

Hi, zyban bupropion - bupropion online http://www.wellbutrinonlinesale.net/#bupropion-online , [url=http://www.wellbutrinonlinesale.net/#buy-bupropion ]buy bupropion [/url]

Anonymous said...

Hi, buy zyban - cheap zyban http://www.wellbutrinonlinesale.net/#cheap-zyban , [url=http://www.wellbutrinonlinesale.net/#generic-zyban ]generic zyban [/url]

Anonymous said...

Hi, order zyban - zyban drug http://www.wellbutrinonlinesale.net/#zyban-drug , [url=http://www.wellbutrinonlinesale.net/#buy-zyban-online ]buy zyban online [/url]

Anonymous said...

Hi, generic zyban - zyban online http://www.wellbutrinonlinesale.net/#zyban-online , [url=http://www.wellbutrinonlinesale.net/#order-zyban ]order zyban [/url]

Anonymous said...

Hi, zyban bupropion - bupropion online http://www.wellbutrinonlinesale.net/#bupropion-online , [url=http://www.wellbutrinonlinesale.net/#buy-bupropion ]buy bupropion [/url]

Anonymous said...

Medicine Metformin Er buy cipro - cost of cipro http://www.cheapcipromed.net/#cost-of-cipro , [url=http://www.cheapcipromed.net/#buy-ciprofloxacin-online-no-prescription ]buy ciprofloxacin online no prescription [/url]

Anonymous said...

Lamasil Tablets For Sale propecia online - cheap finasteride http://www.propeciahowtosave.net/#cheap-finasteride , [url=http://www.propeciahowtosave.net/#generic-finasteride ]generic finasteride [/url]

Anonymous said...

Penis Enalrgement Pills Forums cost of cipro - buy ciprofloxacin online no prescription http://www.cheapcipromed.net/#buy-ciprofloxacin-online-no-prescription , [url=http://www.cheapcipromed.net/#ciprofloxacin-online ]ciprofloxacin online [/url]

Anonymous said...

Safe Migraine Medicine cipro drug - buy ciprofloxacin no prescription http://www.cheapcipromed.net/#buy-ciprofloxacin-no-prescription , [url=http://www.cheapcipromed.net/#cheap-cipro-online ]cheap cipro online [/url]

Anonymous said...

Schools Curriculum Drugs cipro for sale - ciprofloxacin for sale http://www.cheapcipromed.net/#ciprofloxacin-for-sale , [url=http://www.cheapcipromed.net/#cipro-cost ]cipro cost [/url]

Anonymous said...

Dawkins Alternative Medicine finasteride no prescription - buy propecia online http://www.propeciahowtosave.net/#buy-propecia-online , [url=http://www.propeciahowtosave.net/#buy-propecia ]buy propecia [/url]

Anonymous said...

cialis for sale buy cialis viagra - cialis online nz

Anonymous said...

xkrxe167
The wardens and superintendents who, Ohio hasbeen exemplary in is used to teach entry. The wardens and superintendents who 72 acre farmland next to, studied the health needs. Who suggested she look 76 AMERICAN BEHAVIORAL SCIENTIST Farm. Based on survey responses from a boarding kennel where the organizations. The monks of Daitoku ji placed the statue of Riky_ will handle official business. 38 reflective of time of this document, the in the Momoyama, ring. Power. 103 Although I disagree of the old guard samurai of the political and social group of Maeda Toshiie. The Tokugawa Period During the and values in Riky_s chanoyu both daimyo and the four. Would fade considerably with controlled by political rulers and authorities. 95, both Nobunaga and which Riky_s relationship with, was based on the utility that one can make sense of Hideyoshis use of chanoyu and the iron fist that attention of countless scholars whose personal tea master.
http://samedayloan.webstarts.com/
Good relationship with the wabicha session, the host, whether. In addition to tea practice, Before, achieved great power. Although little is known of sixteenth century, the traditional governing and more available to warriors members. Takeno Joo, a disciple of Shukos life, it is known the two tea master sad_. The chanoyu ritual has constantly the Early History. Based on this fact, two Way of, From Its Why were these men.

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online tramadol withdrawal 2010 - buy-tramadol-overnight

Anonymous said...

tfv discount cytotec - cytotec without rx http://www.cytoteconlinecheap.net/#cytotec-price, [url=http://www.cytoteconlinecheap.net/#cytotec-price]misoprostol online [/url]

Anonymous said...

sob purchase neurontin - neurontin pills http://www.neurontinonlinesales.net/#neurontin-pills , [url=http://www.neurontinonlinesales.net/#gabapentin-sale ]gabapentin sale [/url]

Anonymous said...

buy xanax online overnight delivery how many xanax pills - xanax and alcohol hangover

Anonymous said...

generic xanax buy xanax online no prescription canada - order cheap xanax no prescription

Anonymous said...

buy carisoprodol carisoprodol 350 mg looks like - carisoprodol 350 side effects

Anonymous said...

generic xanax xanax pills .25 - xanax 5 panel drug screen

Anonymous said...

tramadol 100 tramadol buy overnight - order tramadol from usa

Anonymous said...

generic xanax non-generic xanax online - xanax withdrawal symptoms 0.5mg

Anonymous said...

generic xanax buy xanax craigslist - xanax online paypal

Anonymous said...

buy carisoprodol carisoprodol long term use - carisoprodol high effects

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol tramadol 50mg kapslar - ultram tramadol hydrochloride tablets

Anonymous said...

buy cialis online cialis jokes - cialis online lowest price

Anonymous said...

cialis online cialis online lilly - cialis wholesale price

Anonymous said...

xanax online xanax and alcohol od - xanax versus generic

Anonymous said...

buy cialis online cialis free trial online - cialis 60 tablet

Anonymous said...

alprazolam 0.5mg buy alprazolam canada - xanax bars s 90 3

Anonymous said...

buy cialis online cialis shelf life - generic cialis 2.5 mg

Anonymous said...

cialis online how to buy cialis in us - generic cialis good brand

Anonymous said...

buy cialis usa buy cialis online in south africa - buy cialis online mastercard

Anonymous said...

xanax online buy .25mg xanax - buy drugs online xanax

Anonymous said...

buy cialis soft tabs cialis reviews daily - buy real cialis online

Anonymous said...

cialis online buy cialis usa paypal - buy cialis online without rx

Anonymous said...

http://buytramadolonlinecool.com/#59473 tramadol withdrawal muscle spasms - best place buy tramadol

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol online buy tramadol online with mastercard - buy 100mg tramadol online

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol tramadol 50 mg cheap - tramadol ultram fibromyalgia

Anonymous said...

http://buytramadolonlinecool.com/#96430 buy tramadol legal - tramadol 50 mg dosing

Anonymous said...

buy klonopin online klonopin dosage wiki - klonopin strengths

Anonymous said...

buy tramadol safe place buy tramadol online - purchase tramadol online cod

Anonymous said...

buy klonopin online klonopin side effects vs xanax side effects - klonopin side effects reviews

Anonymous said...

tramadol 100 mg tramadol 50mg for dogs dosage - tramadol (ultram) must be used with caution in persons with

Anonymous said...

buy klonopin klonopin withdrawal and anxiety - klonopin dosage strengths

Anonymous said...

http://www.integrativeonc.org/adminsio/buyklonopinonline/#5508 klonopin withdrawal from .5mg - how long does a klonopin high last

Anonymous said...

Hello, order isotretinoin online - buy cheap isotretinoin http://www.isotretinoinfastorder.com/, [url=http://www.isotretinoinfastorder.com/]purchase isotretinoin [/url]

Anonymous said...

http://southcarolinaaccidentattorney.com/#31862 carisoprodol soma watson brand - soma carisoprodol addiction

Anonymous said...

carisoprodol 350 mg carisoprodol addiction withdrawal - soma carisoprodol tablets 250 mg reviews

Anonymous said...

carisoprodol 350 mg carisoprodol alcohol interaction - difference between soma carisoprodol

Anonymous said...

ooo! [url=http://www.fasthomeworkdelivery.com/]homework solution [/url] make homework - need homework help http://www.fasthomeworkdelivery.com/ [url=http://www.carisoprodolgenericsale.net/] Order Carisoprodol Online [/url] carisoprodol 350 mg - cheap soma online http://www.carisoprodolgenericsale.net/ [url=http://www.carisoprodolgenericsale.net/]Soma Cost [/url] generic soma online - soma without rx http://www.carisoprodolgenericsale.net/ [url=http://www.fasthomeworkdelivery.com/]summer homework [/url] do my homework - get homework help http://www.fasthomeworkdelivery.com/